"stutter stance, take a chance, just take a chance."
So i really want to go and do Street Invaders this summer, along with Plunge. but the thing is, I leave for Street Invaders and the next day i'm straight off to Plunge. (The day i get back from street invaders) So really. I'm just not knowing what to do. If I do Street Invaders, I can't do wakeboard camp, but if I don't do Street Invaders this year I will for surely do it next year. I want to so much. I've just heard such positive things about it, that i want to do it. It seems like it would be a ton of fun, and a great way to get closer to God.
At this point I'm really just kinda waiting to hear what God wants me to do, what he's calling me to do.
One thing I find so hard is to do daily devotion. Some weeks I'll be so good at it, and then after a couple weeks, a month or two, I start forgetting to do it, or just become way to lazy. I just feel this is definitely not good. I have a journal i write in, and it ends up being a week before I write again. I just feel too lazy to do anything, or not motivated enough to even reach an arms length away from my bed and grab my pen and notebook and write something to God. I wonder how God must feel when he knows that I know it's not difficult, but i just choose not to anyways. That's gotta be rough, and also like a stab in the back for all that he's given me when I can't do one simple thing. Rough.
I am so stoked for YC. It's kind of hard to explain, it's like i can wait for it, yet at the same time I can't. I'm kind of weary because I know I won't really have specific people who i can hang out with. I'll kind of be all over the place, because i'm not greatly fantastic friends with specific people. The thing is, the people who I am better friends with, have other friends going, so then I think that I'll probably be left out. Which is why my thinking is making me think that it won't be as enjoyable as it should be. The whole weekend should be about God, not myself. SO maybe I better change my thinking.
I just feel so tired and restless right now in life, like I can never get enough sleep. Maybe it's not real life tiredness, but I'm restless with my walk with God. Maybe i'm not trying hard enough, maybe i'm just not doing this right. I wish I could be perfect, but then again I don't. I like making mistakes, and i guess falling away from god sometimes is a mistake, but then i'm glad to get back on the right track with him. God just lead me in my life, I don't know where i'm going, but i got you shining the light on my path.
and I really wish I knew where I was going, or who i am going to meet, or who i'm going to marry, but i guess that takes the excitement out of life.
"Here I am at your feet
in brokenness complete."
So i really want to go and do Street Invaders this summer, along with Plunge. but the thing is, I leave for Street Invaders and the next day i'm straight off to Plunge. (The day i get back from street invaders) So really. I'm just not knowing what to do. If I do Street Invaders, I can't do wakeboard camp, but if I don't do Street Invaders this year I will for surely do it next year. I want to so much. I've just heard such positive things about it, that i want to do it. It seems like it would be a ton of fun, and a great way to get closer to God.
At this point I'm really just kinda waiting to hear what God wants me to do, what he's calling me to do.
One thing I find so hard is to do daily devotion. Some weeks I'll be so good at it, and then after a couple weeks, a month or two, I start forgetting to do it, or just become way to lazy. I just feel this is definitely not good. I have a journal i write in, and it ends up being a week before I write again. I just feel too lazy to do anything, or not motivated enough to even reach an arms length away from my bed and grab my pen and notebook and write something to God. I wonder how God must feel when he knows that I know it's not difficult, but i just choose not to anyways. That's gotta be rough, and also like a stab in the back for all that he's given me when I can't do one simple thing. Rough.
I am so stoked for YC. It's kind of hard to explain, it's like i can wait for it, yet at the same time I can't. I'm kind of weary because I know I won't really have specific people who i can hang out with. I'll kind of be all over the place, because i'm not greatly fantastic friends with specific people. The thing is, the people who I am better friends with, have other friends going, so then I think that I'll probably be left out. Which is why my thinking is making me think that it won't be as enjoyable as it should be. The whole weekend should be about God, not myself. SO maybe I better change my thinking.
I just feel so tired and restless right now in life, like I can never get enough sleep. Maybe it's not real life tiredness, but I'm restless with my walk with God. Maybe i'm not trying hard enough, maybe i'm just not doing this right. I wish I could be perfect, but then again I don't. I like making mistakes, and i guess falling away from god sometimes is a mistake, but then i'm glad to get back on the right track with him. God just lead me in my life, I don't know where i'm going, but i got you shining the light on my path.
and I really wish I knew where I was going, or who i am going to meet, or who i'm going to marry, but i guess that takes the excitement out of life.
"Here I am at your feet
in brokenness complete."
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